Today I spoke to the head of the department... while my intermediate class has barely enough (fifteen) people to go, it appears my advanced class will be canceled because I have ZERO people registered. It seems the students in the advanced class will only sign up for it if the teacher is a native speaker. Of English. Which I am. So why am I being treated like I've never been to Cleveland?
Let's see... what might be the problem? Could it be that my name conjures up some... how you say... "UnAmerican" images?
Scheisse! Just my luck.
I discussed it with the department head and we decided that I needed a "more American" name for the course catalog next semester.
I thought I might try on "Mr. Obama." But then I remembered all you Americans (and auslanders who have an image of what is or might be "american") could help... So get at me and tell me what I should call myself to telegraph to these co-eds that I'm the human equivalent of an apple pie that's been hit with a baseball bat while attending a tractor pull.
Leave your suggestions in the comments!
11 comments:
Not that you should listen to anything by a guy with the last name of "Wurst" but my first thought after last night's debate was Joe T. Plumber. I'll get back toyou with a better alias later.
I had my break-through idea. How do you retain the tradition of the german name, while coming across clearly as an American: HASSELHOFF!
you could always borrow Andy's rap name
"Double Entendre Jackson-Jonson-Smith"
that one is solidly American
or you could take the opportunity to be a bit crude and just become Mr. Cox
Let's see
-Fredrick Balaskovitz
-Francis Bussman
-F. Lafebre
Well, all the family names are a nogo.Hmmmmmmm
Got it. What about Freddie "Boom, Boom" Washington?
keep it close to home and go with...
STILLWELL!
Fred..........so little time,so many names...i.e. Billy Joe Stumpjumper.....Don Corleone...John Cocktostenson...Chevy Chase....Fred Francis....Jamar "big" Johnson...or the name of Mom's great uncle...James Rice...........also usable if you teach in China.
Jim Jones or Joseph Smith. Hands down.
O.J. Simpson
George Bush
Luke Skywalker or his lesser known German friend, Hans Olo
I vote 'Stillwell'.
Post a Comment